Saturday, July 25, 2009

Christian One Liners

I received this from a friend in an e-mail. As I was reading it I felt others would enjoy it as I did. So have a enjoyable time reading and even laugh if you want.

Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you;
Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
Until you try to sit in their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisers.
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It is easier to preach ten sermons
Than it is to live one.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,
But mosquitoes come close.
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When you get to your wit's end,
You'll find God lives there.
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People are funny; they want the front of the bus,
Middle of the road,
And back of the church.
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Opportunity may knock once,
But temptation bangs on the front door forever.
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Quit griping about your church;
If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
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If a church wants a better pastor,
It only needs to pray for the one it has.
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We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.
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God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until
he is dead. So why should you?
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Some minds are like concrete
Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
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Peace starts with a smile.
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I don't know why some people change churches;
What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
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A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises'
Are just sitting on the premises.
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Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
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Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
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Forbidden fruits create many jams.
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God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.
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God grades on the cross, not the curve.
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God loves everyone,
But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
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He who angers you, controls you!
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If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
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Prayer:
Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.
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The Will of God never takes you to where the
Grace of God will not protect you.
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We don't change the message,
The message changes us.
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You can tell how big a person is
By what it takes to discourage him.
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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
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If this blessed you in a profound way today,

Share it with a few friends to bless them!
I bet someone else will LOVE it too.
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There is no greater treasure than a good friend!
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

1 comment:

Talk..to..Grams said...

This is really neat!! Thanks for sharing! I did laugh at some of them. Some of them hit home and I said Ouch!! :) Hugs,Grams

Name

What Joyce Means
You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

Heart

Your Heart is Red and Green
Your heart is serene and peaceful.
You are down to earth, laid back, and secure in who you are.
You bring strength and sanity to relationships.
You're good at communicating and working through problems.