Cash for Clunkers…

If my body were a car , this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close..

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?

I do qualify, how about you. I received this from a good friend and I just had to post it.

When We Pray

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN WHEN WE PRAY?

This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ' This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received. '

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them." I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed." How is it that there is no work going on here? ' I asked.

"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments"

"How does one acknowledge God's blessings? " I asked..

"Simple," the angel answered. Just say, "Thank you, Lord. "

"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.

"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world ' s wealthy. "

"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. "

"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world."

"If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world."

"If your parents are still alive and still married ..you are very rare."

"If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair......."

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
"Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. " I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends!! I hope you enjoyed this and I thank and give a blessing to the friend who sent it to me in an e-mail.

From Noah's Ark

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark . One : Don't miss the boat. Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat. Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Four : Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Six : Build your future on high ground. Seven : For safety sake, travel in pairs. Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. Nine : When you're stressed, float a while. Ten : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

You may have seen this before, but I felt a need to share it as I received it from a cousin of mine through e-mail.

Hand of God

Hand of God

HE is the only one that can save
this country from the people
that want him removed from
the government. Our great
nation will not stand if we
delete HIM from all aspects
of our government as the
atheists want.
Jesus Test

This is an easy test, you score
100 or zero.. It's your
choice. If you aren't ashamed
to do this, please follow
the directions.

Jesus said, 'if you are
ashamed of me,I will be
ashamed of you before
my Father.'

Not ashamed, pass this on..
only if you mean it.

Yes, I do Love God.
He is my source of
existence and Savior.
He keeps me functioning
each and everyday.
Without Him, I will
be nothing. Without Him
I am nothing,but with Him
I can do all things through
Christ that strengthens me.

Phil 4:13

Kept Woman

I Am a 'Kept ' Woman
You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,
But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)
There were times when I thought I could go no longer,
But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)
At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,
But the LORD kept my mouth shut.. (Psa. 13)
Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,
But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)
When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.
When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)
I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!
I'm blessed to be 'kept '
Do you know a 'kept ' woman?
If so pass it on to her to let her know she is 'Kept '
I'm "Kept" by the Love and Grace of God

Have a Blessed Week everyone! Let's keep encouraging one another in these tough times!

Friendship

None of that 'Sis'-sy Stuff
Are you tired of those
sissy 'friendship' poems
that always sound good,
but never actually come close
to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of
True Friendship.
You WON'T see
cutesy little smiley faces
in this card-
Just the stone cold truth
of our great friendship.


1. When you are sad,

I will jump on the person

who made you sad

like a spider monkey

jacked up on Starbucks!!!

2. When you are blue,

I will try to dislodge

whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile,

I will know you are

plotting something naughty

that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared,

we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried,

I will tell you horrible stories about how much

worse it could be until you

quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused,

I will use little words.

7. When you are sick,

Stay away from me

until you are well again.

I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall,

I'll pick you up

and dust you off--

After I laugh my butt off!!

This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; -- because you are my FRIEND!
***********************
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it,
but only YOU can feel the true warmth.

Post Office

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery Store.
As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked,
"Son, can You tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a
Coupla blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town.
I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday.
I'll show you how to get To Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on...
You don't Even know the way to the Post Office."