You Know You Are A Farm Wife If
If your name is taped to the side of a cake pan.
If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice.
If the vet's number is on the speed dial of you phone.
If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can't because the spare is on a flatbed.
If your second vehicle is still a pickup.
If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your yard.
If you're in the habit of buying food stuff in bulk.
If a "night out" involves the local 4-H club.
If the word "auction" makes you tingle.
If you've ever washed off each other with a pressure washer.
If "a little bit of lunch" involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch.
If taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic.
If your rock garden was hand-picked.
If you can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them.
If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of; filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs, or shotgun shells.
If "Farm", "Ranch", "Country", "Cowboy", or "Antique" is in the name of your favorite magazine.
If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow.
If you ever went on a date to the bull sales.
If you've ever called your husband to supper, using a radio.
If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer.
If your driveway is longer than a stones throw.
If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery.
If your wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or vice versa.
If the daily paper is always a day late.
If you have a yard, but not a lawn.
If you have lots of machinery and each piece is worth more than your house.
If the neighbor's house is best viewed with binoculars.
If the directions to your hose includes the words, "mile, silos, last, or gravel road".
If the tractor and the combine have air conditioning and an FM radio but your car doesn't.
If your storage shed is a barn.
If you measure travel in miles not minutes.
If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband.
If you consider "hot dish" a food group.
If your husband says, "Can you help me for a few minutes?" and you know that it might be anywhere from a few minutes...to six hours.
If you plan your vacations around farm shows or calving or planting or harvesting.
If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems.
If your refrigerator contains medicine...livestock medicine.
If your car's color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown.
If you knew everyone in your high school graduation class.
If you've entertained the romantic notion of living in an old, country farmhouse with a fireplace.
If you use newspapers to help keep the kitchen floor clean.
If you've ever said, "Oh it's only a little mud."
If you need a pair of vice grips to run a household appliance.
If you've used the loader to reach the windows when they need washing.
If you've ever discovered a batch of kittens in your laundry basket.
If dinner is a noon and lunch is before and after dinner.
If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skid loader.
If quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight inn one hand and a wrench in the other.
If you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn.
If you buy your husband's "dress: socks at Campbell's Supply.
If family "pets" include deer, coons, pheasants, squirrels, foxes or birds.
If you can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours.
If your basement is really a cellar.
If "sharing a cab" has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field.
If your job in tow is considered a farm subsidy.
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